Here in California, we haz the dumb.
Three new gun laws will take effect January 1st…
- SB199, the Hello Kitty Assault Weapon Control Act of 2015 (Ed: It might not really be called that) will require that all toy guns sold in the State, including Airsoft and other BB guns have a brightly colored muzzle. This is so the police will know that it’s not a real gun. It’s also so that small children will learn to put real guns and BB guns in their mouths so long as those guns are brightly colored; like toys.
- SB707, The Protect Our Campus Killing Fields Act of 2015 (Ed: It might not really be called that) will prohibit do-gooder CCW holders from stopping armed maniacs on school grounds. Parents of children that survive the Hello Kitty Assault Weapon Control Act will be happy to know that their offspring can continue to be targets for the mentally unstable without the fear of some gun-nut intervening.
- AB1014, The You Shouldn’t Have Dissed Granny’s Fruitcake Act of 2015 (Ed: It might not really be called that) will allow your relatives to escalate family feuds to include the police breaking down your door and shooting you in the head to confiscate your legally owned firearms. Be very careful about what you say about Granny’s special holiday fruitcake this year. Just because it tastes like toenails doesn’t mean that you have to loudly announce to everyone at the table that it tastes like toenails. Don’t make Granny mad. You wouldn’t like her when she’s mad.
NOTE: While these pages are known for their stunning accuracy, exceeding 99.98% in the latest survey, you should contact an attorney if you have specific questions about any of the new laws listed here.